Gynophobia
by MonkandMiko
Summary: Due to magical intervention, Miroku becomes phobic to women! MirKag


Title: Poetic Justice  
Author: Chiisai-tori  
Disclaimer: I own no part of this series!  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Due to magical intervention, Miroku becomes phobic to women!  
Author's notes: This one tickled my fancy immediately, just had to  
try it. Light on the M/K, but it's there.

* * *

Inuyasha was getting mightily tired of being used as a living  
shield. "You're acting like a wimp, bouzu. Get over it already!"

"How was I supposed to know that the old crone was some kind of  
sorceress?" his uncharacteristically clingy comrade whined  
pathetically. Inuyasha stopped and turned to glare. "Ack! No,  
don't move, they'll see me! I don't want them to see me!"

"Served you right, you idiot – hitting on her grand-daughters like  
that. All four of them! Feh, what a moron." Inuyasha promptly  
spun about and began walking faster in irritation. Miroku did not  
approve of the increased speed, as it was bringing him closer to the  
cause of his distressing behaviour.

The women.

More specifically, Kagome and Sango, who were currently laughing fit  
to burst at the sight of the suave heartbreaker being towed along  
like a stubborn child. Kagome was reminded of a kid being dragged  
off to school. No, I don't want to! I don't want to! You can't  
make me! Waaah!'

A discreet nudge from Sango alerted her to the silly grin she  
currently had on her face, and she immediately schooled her features  
into a concerned expression. "Are you okay, Miroku-sama?" The  
young miko reached out a hand, blinking as the houshi once more  
darted behind his reluctant protector.

"Honestly, it's like approaching a wild animal," Sango muttered  
under her breath. Kagome shrugged, giving in for the moment. And  
for goodness' sake, it wasn't like the errant holy man didn't have  
it coming!

"Are we staying in the next village tonight? I'm sleepy!"  
complained Shippo from deep inside Kagome's bag."  
"No! It'll be full of," Miroku shuddered, "women." He suddenly  
stopped walking, his eyes darting to and fro in something  
approaching mild panic. "I feel an urge to sleep under the stars  
for the time being, don't you?" he appealed to Inuyasha, the one-who-  
sleeps-in-trees. However, today he was out of luck.

"Nah, it'll be too cold for you weak humans tonight," he declared,  
an evil look in his eyes. "We gotta rest up somewhere indoors."  
Shippo could be heard giggling merrily, safely out of sight.

Miroku whimpered. It just really wasn't his day.

He couldn't sleep. This was completely maddening. For one thing,  
the owner of the house they were currently staying in had three  
daughters. Three! As well as maidservants. He didn't even want to  
think about how many of those there were lurking about. The instant  
he wasn't paying attention they would attack him, and likely kill  
him, he just knew it! Life wasn't fair. And he couldn't sleep.  
Argh!

Unobserved by him, a pair of eyes watched him shiver and shake in  
his dark little corner worriedly. Kagome was currently wrestling  
with a guilty conscience. It hadn't really been all that kind, she  
reasoned, to laugh at his predicament earlier that day (although her  
inner voice whispered that it had been ridiculously funny all the  
same). And they had a long day of hard walking ahead of them  
tomorrow. It wouldn't do for any of their number to be half-asleep,  
which Miroku certainly would be if he didn't get some rest soon.  
With that in mind, she cautiously edged her way over to where the  
houshi was lying.

Recalling Sango's previous comment about wild animals, she kept her  
voice low and comforting. "Miroku-sama?" she whispered. "Are you  
tired?"

Through the haze of terror Miroku vaguely recognised a friendly  
voice. It's a woman!' his mind shrieked. Run for your life!'

Kagome noticed his sudden twitch in preparation for flight and  
quickly began soothing him as best she could. "No, no, it's okay,  
I'm not going to hurt you," she crooned, feeling a bit silly and  
rather glad that nobody else was up to see this. The girl watched as he forced himself to look up and meet her eyes. The fear shining  
in them was just…wrong. This was Miroku, he wasn't supposed to be  
afraid of anything. Well, except Sango. Heh. Too late, she  
scolded herself for frowning – the skittish man had now backed  
himself into a corner and had his eyes shut tight, shaking his head  
and mumbling, "No, no, no, no…"

It would have been enough to melt the hardest heart. And as  
Kagome's heart was already extremely soft, it didn't take much to  
have her aching to do something to help. As quietly as possible she  
crept across the remaining distance between them and laid a hand on  
the houshi's trembling shoulder. She jumped a little at his sharp  
flinch, but kept her hand where it was. "Shh, Miroku," she  
murmured, deciding to drop the sama' for now. "Hold still. I'm  
going to sit down, alright?"

Miroku shook his head violently, but didn't dare move.

"Tough," she chuckled, easing down and slipping one arm around him  
easily. He stiffened instantly, sitting bolt upright. Shushing him  
like she would a frightened child, she twisted her hand up and  
stroked his hair gently. Smiling, she felt him gradually calm down,  
subconsciously leaning into the comfort she was offering.

She didn't say another word, not wishing to startle him into a panic  
attack. Well, this is sure going to cause problems for him in the  
long run,' she mused. How on earth is he going to find anyone  
to bear his child' if he won't even look at a girl?' It was quite  
an amusing paradox. Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt the  
man's head slowly slump to rest on her shoulder. He was finally  
asleep.

Kagome had to admit, it felt very nice to be sitting here like  
this. When he wasn't opening his mouth to flirt with every human  
female in the vicinity, he was by far and away the most approachable  
of her travelling companions. Inuyasha was, well, cranky by nature,  
Shippo was a bit too young for meaningful conversations, and Sango  
would listen, but often gave the air of being more concerned with  
watching her surroundings in case of youkai attack. Miroku,  
however, gave her his full attention. She had been noticing that  
lately – well, before the pervert had royally stuffed up and hit on  
four daughters in the same family, one after another, and then  
gotten caught. An idiot,' she thought to herself, amused, but a  
rather loveable one.' Her mental commentary ground to a  
halt. Loveable? Ack, where is your common sense going? Remember? Flirt! Lecher! Womaniser and playboy of the highest  
order! Get a grip, girl!' She shook her head in an effort to clear  
her thoughts, then settled down to sleep.

It is so nice to wake up and not have a lecher stare at you,' Sango  
thought as she prepared to get up, ready for the new day. The  
oddest sight met her eyes, prompting a gasp of shock. Houshi-sama  
and Kagome-chan! How did that happen?' All of a sudden she grinned  
mischeviously. For all those times in the hot springs, you  
pervert…'

"Boo!" she roared, leaping up and landing directly in front of the  
pair with a bone-rattling thud.

"Aaargh!" Miroku bolted, tripping over his feet repeatedly and  
getting tangled in his robes in an effort to get away with all  
haste. Sango laughed uproariously, wiping tears out of her eyes.

Kagome moaned. "No way…do you know how long it took to get him  
calmed down last night?" Her friends watched incredulously as she  
ran for the door, racing after the escapee. "Miroku-sama! Miroku,  
slow down, it's okay! Come back!"

Inuyasha, brought back indoors by all the commotion, gave an  
annoyed feh' and stomped out again. Shippo could only giggle,  
promptly busying himself with the all-important search for candy  
among Kagome's things.

Sango just smiled. Oh, that was fun!'

* * *

Oh, how I love my dear Chii-Chi-sama... She's always so good about answering challenges.

If you would like to respond to the same challenge, send your entries to Megami no Eien at Please check the rules before you write! (You may find the rules on MonkandMiko Yahoo! Groups and/or group fanfiction accounts.)

Megami no Eien


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